I bet when you first fell pregnant your friends were all very excited for you and you never anticipated that the relationships in your social circle would ever change that much?
Why Would This Happen?
It’s not uncommon as your pregnancy progresses to be drawn to other women who are pregnant or have recently had a baby.
Often, we start to form close friendships with new people, people we meet in antenatal classes or friends who you may not have been particularly close with in the past, who now share a common interest suddenly become very good friends.
It’s natural to want to surround yourself with people who are either going through or have been through the same things you are experiencing.
The Benefits Of New Friends
By spending time with women who are also expecting a baby you can not only share the ups and downs of your experiences together but it can also be fun to do activities together such as aqua natal classes, prenatal yoga or shopping for baby items.
You’ll have so many questions and these people can often answer them or share in your concerns as you try to navigate the ups and downs of pregnancy together.
But What About My Current Friends?
Something you may notice however, is that friends who are not pregnant or who have not yet had children, although very happy for you and looking forward to meeting your little bundle when they arrive, may not be as interested in all the ins and outs of the intimate details of pregnancy which can make some mums-to-be feel a bit displaced by their usual friendship circle or upset by what might appear to be a lack of interest.
It’s important to acknowledge that it can be difficult for your friends to fully comprehend just how intense and all-encompassing pregnancy can be.
This disjointed communication can sometimes cause friends to drift apart a little if not managed carefully.
For a lot of pregnant women, pregnancy is all they can think about, like a blind fold to the rest of whats happening in the world, after all there is sooo much going on with your body and emotions, so much to plan and prepare for and try learn about before bubs arrival.
However your friends may find it hard to engage in a conversation with you without feeling a little overwhelmed, bored (if pregnancy is constantly discussed) or feeling unable to add anything meaningful to the conversation.
They may also feel that you no longer have or show an interest in what’s happening in their life.
What Can I Do To Make Sure This Doesn’t Happen?
If these are friendship you value, try to make an effort to have plenty of “non-pregnancy” chats that are fun and interesting for everyone – like it used to be before you became a baby making machine.
Try to arrange a catch up for a cuppa, enroll in a fun art workshop or go for a walk together. You’ll benefit from enjoying quality time together doing something that’s not pregnancy focussed.
Call your friends before they call you and start the conversation with anything other than your pregnancy. Ask how they are doing, how work is going, that new boyfriend. Show genuine interest in their life. Remember – people love to talk about themselves and you never know, maybe she needs someone to talk to too doesnt feel that she can burden you with those problems right now, make sure you provide an opportunity for her to feel that she can still confide in you.
If you do still find that you drift apart from these friends for a while, don’t worry too much, true friends will always remain just that, whether or not lives temporarily go in different directions or not.